desperate times, weird hobbies: part one
I read this YouTube comment last night that made me laugh so hard – it was one of many jabs at the new trailer for Disney’s Cruella, probably the most succinct of the bunch. “This is the worst thing I’ve ever seen, and I once saw a dead rat floatin in a bucket.” Most other comments covered the expected bullet points – “derivative,” “Disney’s version of Birds of Prey,” “who asked for this.” All fair, I guess! But “dead rat floatin in a bucket.” Poetry.
Having spent 9 out of the past 12 months almost exclusively indoors, I’ve watched a lot of TV and movies, and I’ve also started reading a lot of reviews. It’s become a hobby. It started with Margaret Lyons’ “Watching” newsletter for the NYT and, because I’m me, it quickly devolved from there. See, I think critics’ reviews are valuable (especially yours, Margaret Lyons!!!), but they just don’t have the *zing* of those written by people without film degrees. Until they put up a stupid paywall, my main source of review entertainment was Common Sense Media’s website. It’s exactly what it sounds like – staff writers rate content based on how appropriate it might be for different age groups, and parents leave reviews, most of which lean pretty conservative. Like, sure, live your life, but I don’t think Pixar’s Cars is going to ruin your five-year-old. Anyway. Kids get to write reviews too, and that’s what hooked me. Every movie they see is the best movie ever made – truly everything from Trolls to Black Swan. It’s amazing!!! A review I’ll never forget is one in which the writer (presumably a nine-year-old) says the lesson they learned from Read It and Weep is this: “payatinchen” to your life and the people around you. I think about this word every single day. And I often think about the preteen gal who, in her review, explained to a staff writer that “drag queen” and “trans woman” are not interchangeable. I really did enjoy my time on CSM.
But, as I said, they recently put up a paywall. So I’ve been going to IMDb. Reviews aplenty! However, I’ve encountered a demographic on IMDb that was (blissfully) entirely absent from CSM – holier-than-thou old guys who conflate personal taste with actual value and call anything written by a woman a “female fantasy.” Uff!! Da!!! I nearly made an account the other night just to thumbs-down ONE user’s 200-odd reviews in the app. Might still do it? We’ll see how much restraint I have on my next bad day. I’m not against valid criticism, or opinions (as long as they’re presented as opinions), or even the occasional jab (see “dead rat floatin in a bucket”), but I do not enjoy gatekeeping and mean-spiritedness!! See ya.
So I guess, for now, I’ll crawl back to Margaret and her “Watching” column and wait till I’m brave enough to download Letterboxd. Aaaand I’ll occasionally browse IMDb because sometimes I like being mad. Until next time! Have a good weekend!
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